Hello? Soulmate Speaking!
by CatrinaSL
Summary: Silly Words for the Silly Soul(mate fic) series. Darcy wants to head to bed after an all-nighter, but Sheila needs her help again. At least she can weird people out when she answers the phone.
**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Marvel Cinematic Universe (or Ghostbusters, or any other of the references I made in this fic)!

 **Soulmark AU Reminder:** Everyone has a Soulmark, a tattoo of the first words their Soulmate will say to them. Showing someone else your Soulmark is like bearing your soul to them, so most people only show their Soulmate or very trusted friends.

* * *

It was early, but Darcy was clocking out. She grabbed her iPod off the lab bench, waved at Bruce, and headed for the elevator.

Her thumb was over the button when it happened: "Oh, Darcy, thank goodness."

It was Sheila, the floor's receptionist. She filed paperwork and answered calls, gatekeeping for Jane and Bruce and the other scientists on 21. And her daughter was having prom dress issues.

"Hey, Sheila. I just got Jane to bed." She waved her electronics. "Came back to get this."

Sheila looked apologetic, but Darcy knew what was coming. "Bless your heart," Sheila began, and Darcy cursed herself for not being faster. If she'd just run instead of walked through the lab, she could have made it to the elevator while Sheila was still in the filing room. "Could I ask you a favor?"

No, she could not ask Darcy a favor. Darcy had filled in for Sheila twice in the past week, which was part of the reason Jane's science binge had lasted so long: Darcy had missed several opportunities to head her off.

"Megan's dress is just... well, you know how on Tuesday she had her heart set on that pink one. So I picked it up, and when she tried it on for her father and I, it's just..." Sheila sighed. "She's going to be way too cold in it. There's a beautiful green one across town that we know she'll like better."

Darcy tried not to look like she was grimacing. "Maybe a shawl... thing?" she suggested helpfully.

"Darcy, what a wonderful idea!" Sheila brightened. "I'll look for one while I'm out; you don't mind watching the desk for an hour for me, do you?"

Darcy sighed and pasted on a very fake smile. "Of course not," she assured Sheila through clenched teeth.

It wasn't like the phone rang that much, and since Darcy had done quite a bit of the filing the last time she'd been behind Sheila's desk, there wouldn't be much of that to do.

Darcy stepped behind the desk as Sheila backed into the elevator, peppering her with thanks. She sat down carefully, avoiding the large button that would alert the rest of the building in case of accidental Hulkage, and popped her earbuds in. Today she was determined to do (or not do) just as much work as Sheila would have if she had been here.

For the first five minutes, Darcy amused herself by stapling various things to other things, but ten minutes later she was jerked awake by the phone ringing.

Unaware that she had been drowsing, she snatched up the phone and mumbled sleepily, "I am Zuul! I am the Gatekeeper!"

She was answered with a laugh which woke her more thoroughly, so she was able to pay attention. Poking at some buttons, she rang Bruce's phone. "Bruce, it's the dreamy guy from R&D in California!"

"Darcy. I thought you went to bed. Sheila's got you filling in _again_?" Bruce sighed.

"It'll be worth it if you can hook me up with his number!" she sang, then transferred the call from the SI's California branch.

An hour later, she answered the phone, "Moe's mortuary, you stab 'em, we slab 'em!" The guys at the front desk were a bit weirded out, since they were sure they hadn't dialed one of the medical floors.

HR called five minutes later, and gave her a tongue lashing. Apparently "Joe's Pool Hall! Eight ball speaking!" was not an appropriate way to answer an office phone at Stark Industries. The lecture was followed by some questions about why exactly she was answering the phone in the first place. Darcy covered as best she could. Sure, she was being taken advantage of, but prom was in two days, and after that there would be no more reason for Sheila to abandon Darcy at her desk for most of the morning and into the afternoon.

Darcy's head was on the desk when Bruce placed a cup of coffee in front of her. "How long have you been awake?" he asked, his voice startling her back to semi-consciousness.

"At least eighteen hours, I think?" she estimated, scooping up the coffee he'd doctored exactly like his own. Darcy scrunched up her nose. Not enough cream.

"You should call and get someone else to take the desk. You've done enough today."

Darcy smiled into the coffee. "Didn't think I'd have to actually cart her out Thor-style this time," she admitted.

"I've never seen you pull off a fireman's carry before," he told her.

Darcy shrugged. "What can I say? I work out."

"I told Michael about you when we were done talking about the project. He asked me to let him know the next time you're awake and working the desk."

"Bruce!" Darcy exclaimed gratefully. "You are a good bro."

Bruce gave her a bashful smile. "I do what I can."

The phone rang, and Darcy grinned at Bruce as she answered: "Madcap Maniac Mansion, Head Nut speaking!"

Silence came from the other end. Then, "Don't move from that spot. I'll be right down."

Darcy stared at the phone as the line went dead, the Words on her back tingling as though they'd just been etched there instead of having been there all her life.

"Darcy?" Bruce was saying, but she couldn't hear him.

An elevator ding, and "Darcy?" Sheila this time, finally Sheila, where had Sheila been?

She looked up at them, shocked. But she was rooted to the spot. She couldn't move.

Her Soulmate was coming.

Darcy stood as she looked at the floor indicator above the left elevator, which was counting down from on high. How high had it been? She inched around the edge of the desk, the phone still in her hand.

Bruce was asking her if she was all right, but she kept her eyes fastened on those numbers. 41, 40, 39, 38... he was coming.

 _He was coming._

Sheila was behind her desk when the elevator doors opened, stashing her purse. Darcy was vaguely aware that she had been going on about something, but all of Darcy's annoyance at being ditched to do her work all day had vanished.

"Mr. Stark!" Sheila gasped.

With a cheeky grin at Bruce, Tony sauntered off the elevator. "Hey, Bruce. This Madcap Maniac Mansion? I'm looking for the Head Nut."

The phone fell out of Darcy's hand as she raised the other one.

"Hey, Soulmate," he greeted.

Darcy just smiled nervously.

"You had lunch yet?" he asked.

She shook her head.

"Chinese in my office sound okay?"

Darcy nodded.

"Tony, she's exhausted," Bruce said. "Doctor Foster has been working a lot, and she's been up with her. I saw her napping in the lab yesterday afternoon, but I'm pretty sure Tuesday night was the last time she got any real sleep."

"So you're saying I should take her to bed!" Her Soulmate stepped closer, waggling his eyebrows.

"Is that true, Doctor Banner?" Sheila asked. "She never said anything! Oh, Darcy, sweetheart, you didn't have to!"

Darcy wasn't sure why she couldn't speak for herself, but everything was slightly fuzzy. The conversation seemed to be progressing just fine without her.

Tony pointed at Sheila. "Darcy. Darcy what?"

"Lewis," Sheila provided. "She's Doctor Foster's—"

"Foster's assistant!" Tony finished. "Right! I've been meaning to say hello. Well, I guess it was just destiny that I didn't. What was she doing answering the phone?"

Sheila managed to squeak something about her daughter and the prom dress, and it was clear to Darcy that she was afraid for her job.

"They taking a limo?"

"What?"

"A limo. To the prom."

"Y...yes."

"They're taking mine instead," Tony told her, and Darcy felt him put an arm around her back. Was she falling? Surely it was too soon for that. They'd barely met. "Your kid and her friends are heading out in style. My treat."

Sheila was breathing out her thanks, but Darcy was already in the elevator, courtesy of her smooth-talking Soulmate.

Going up.

* * *

Darcy awoke to the sound of a crinkle and a crack. It was dark when she rolled over and opened her eyes, realizing that she had no idea where she was or how she'd gotten there. But there was something she did remember.

She sat bolt upright, shouting, "Soulmate!"

"Present!" his voice called from nearby. "Fortune cookie?"

"Uh, where are my glasses?"

"Here you go. You've been asleep for about six hours."

Suddenly her glasses were in her hand. "Where are we?" she asked.

"In my _lair_ ," he enunciated, then let out fake-sounding melodramatic mad scientist cackle. (At least Darcy thought it sounded fake. A real mad scientist cackle had a lot more heart in it, in her experience.)

She looked up at him. "I missed the Chinese food, didn't I?"

He gave her an apologetic nod. "Fortune cookie?"

Darcy took the cookie from his outstretched hand and popped half of it in her mouth. "Hey, the fortune's gone," she observed.

"I've got it," he said, moving over to a nearby table and holding up the slip of paper.

"What's it say?" she asked through a mouthful of the vanilla treat.

"It says…" He made a show of squinting at it. "That you will soon meet a dark stranger who will sweep you off your feet, take you out to dinner, and shower you with gifts. After that you'll live happily ever after."

"I hope he's dreamy," Darcy said. She leaned forward a little to see if she could read the miniscule writing from where she was. "Does it say whether he's dreamy?"

He studied it, then tossed it aside. "Nope. Guess you're outta luck on that one. Speaking of 'dreamy,' a little bird told me you've been trying to put the moves on Fernandez out in Malibu."

Darcy shrugged. "Hey, I like a man with brains."

Tony raised both his eyebrows. "Really? My friend the bird could probably tell you a few things about the many advanced degrees that have been awarded to your Soulmate."

"Ah, #humblebrag; nice!" she approved with a nod.

He grinned. "I can do the straightforward thing if you'd rather: I'm completely awesome."

"I'm well aware of how in love with yourself you are," she laughed.

He flopped down on the bed beside her. "Well, I'm ready to be in love with you, too, so whenever you want to get started on that, you should let me know."

Darcy laughed again. "Okay, so, flirting with you is probably one of the best things ever, but did that fortune happen to say anything more about dinner? Because I'm starving."

He looked up at her for a moment. "Can we still flirt while we're eating?"

"We can do whatever you want, but Sleepy Darcy Needs Food Badly."

"Whatever I want?" he grinned. "You promise?"

"Well, it'd be pretty hard to make out while eating pizza, so maybe we should save that for later."

"I like where your head is at," he told her, then rolled over onto his side, clapped his hands twice, and pointed theatrically toward the front door on the other side of the living room.

Nothing happened.

"Was that supposed to—"

She was interrupted by a knock on the door. Tony gave a little flourish of his hands and an 'applause please' expression.

"Okay, I _will_ be impressed if there's pizza out there," Darcy told him.

He patted her leg and got up, beckoning. "Come on. Got your favorite."

"Seriously? There's pizza? Best Soulmate ever!" she declared, tossing the covers off and hopping up.

There _was_ pizza. It _was_ her favorite. There was also a second one with anchovies that she assumed was a joke until Tony fell on it like a ravenous beast.

"How did you know this was my favorite?" she asked through a mouthful of triple pepperoni and cream cheese.

"I'm amazing," was the equally pizza-obstructed reply, accompanied by a look as that told her she should have known.

"Seriously, though." Darcy gave him a sideways glare that demanded truth.

He shrugged. "Called Banner. Didn't want to wake Foster, since that would probably have meant that you'd have to leave me."

"You've got fortune cookies and pizza," Darcy pointed out, applying herself to the large slice in front of her. "I am never leaving, ever."

"Really?" There was a moment of silence from the other side of the table. "Not just because you're my Soulmate?" he asked eventually.

Darcy swallowed an overlarge bite and waited until he made eye contact with her before replying. "Soulmates doesn't mean forever," she told him. "Would you tell your best friend to stay with an abusive Soulmate? Hell no! You'd tell them to get out of there, and to get their Soulmate some help."

His face said that he'd never thought about it that way.

"Sorry that's not super romantic," she continued. "But I'm not one of those people who lives in a world where everything is perfect just because fate points you at somebody; I mean, it's pretty helpful to have that direction, but when you find your Soulmate, it's not the end of the road. It's... the beginning."

She started to blush as he sat there and stared at her for what seemed like a good ten minutes.

"I think I might… love you," he said, and she looked up to find him regarding her as though she were a scientific oddity that required further study.

"I'm also not the type to shack up on the first date, Soulmate or not," she informed him.

"There go _my_ plans for the rest of the evening."

Darcy laughed.

"Okay, so, anything else I should know up front?" he asked. "Do you shower regularly? Do you have any ideological prejudices against Valentine's Day? Are you going to object to me paying for your footwear decisions?"

"Yes, no, and not always," Darcy replied. "What about you? Do you… snore? Are you one of those guys who's going to text me sixteen times if I don't answer the phone right away? How often do you give meaningful feedback in the form of compliments?"

He considered his answers before replying. Politic. "No comment; I will not, because I trust you, but if I decide you really need to be found I can always go big brother on you;" He stopped to laugh at the look on her face before continuing, "And as often as necessary. I think you'll be pleased, although feel free to let me know if I need to up the frequency."

Darcy nodded. "Invites communication: check. Not scared off by my 'sometimes fate sends an asshole' rant: check. Buys me pizza without needing to be asked: check. Well, I'm ready to walk down the aisle, how about you?"

He made a face. "I'd like to know more about your jewel preferences first," he said. "Size, cut, color, that type of thing."

"I think I like you more the longer I'm with you," she told him.

"I can honestly say I've never heard that before," he replied.

Darcy wiped a hand on her jeans and extended it over the table. "I don't think we've been introduced; I'm Darcy Lewis, your Soulmate."

"You've been asleep in my bed for most of the day," he reminded her, but dropped his pizza to shake her hand. "Tony Stark."

"You play your cards right, Stark, and you'll be walking me back to my apartment later."

He paused with a piece of fish pizza halfway to his mouth. "Is that a euphemism? I thought you said we weren't having sex."

Tony must have really wanted a shot at that walk home, because when they were done eating, he called someone to bring them a deck, and they battled for the next two hours in every card game they could think of (though Darcy drew the line at strip poker).

She beat him in every game of War they played, and though she was fairly confident that he wasn't just letting her win, she allowed him accompany her back to her place anyway.

"So you don't live on the floor with everybody else?" he asked in the awkward silence of the empty elevator. "With Bruce, and… Thor?"

Darcy shook her head. "Jane stays with Thor when he's in town, but she and I share one of the smaller places a couple of floors below. I've seen Thor's rooms, though; they're nice."

Tony nodded. "It's more fun when everybody's around, when we can do big dinners together. Gets kind of crazy, though, too, like..."

"Madcap Maniac Mansion?" Darcy suggested.

He laughed, and took a hand out of his pocket to reach for hers. "Hey, thanks for answering that call today," he said.

She nodded and squeezed his hand. "Thanks for making it."

Darcy looked up into Tony's eyes as he stepped closer. "I'm going to kiss you now," he informed her. "Any objections?"

She smiled. "None whatsoever."

* * *

 **Author's Note:** This fic was inspired by a prompt from a reader! If you have a Soulmark prompt you would like to see us take on, let us know!


End file.
